ON and OFF

"Hi Mrs. Kaminsky."

I always remember her name. I remember a lot of names and faces - but Kaminsky has a meter to it I can't ignore. Kaminsky. Like West Side Story!
Although she's not your typical customer who gushes because you remembered their name. She's a tiny old lady and no one likes waiting on her because they find her difficult. I don't. I think she just knows what she wants.

"Frank?" she spouts. "Where have you been?"

I think she has learned my name only because it has been a few years of helping her at the grocery store.

"I'm working in cheese now. Wine. Charcuterie."

"They got you over there?"

"Yeah, but I've done it before. I came back working part time for the last few months."

"Part time? But how do you ... live?"

Looking back, I think it was sweet she was concerned. She sounded concerned. She's not someone given to histrionics or hyperbole.

"Well, I still do music full time. I told you that."
I think I did. I may not have.

"Music?" Though there isn't a lot of change in her tiny old lady face - I see confusion in the eyes.
"What do you play?"

"The piano."

"I love the piano." A smile. "But where? At the hotels?"

(We live in Las Vegas)

"Yeah. At the hotels."

"But what do you do?"

I have to mention here that there's a part of me that kicks in during these moments. A spontaneous impression or joke or quote. A reference to something long forgotten. An aside for the studio audience. But there's no one - just me and this tiny old lady.

I break into a song and dance in front of the meat counter.

"I entertain. You know... (Shuffling off to Buffalo) 'Hot feet! Hot feet! I'm playing the Palace!"

She stares at me blankly. "Oui vey. You're like my brother in law."

"Oh yeah? Who's he?" I say this with the exuberance of a 'ta-da'.

"Don't tell anybody." She holds up her tiny old lady finger. "Mel Brooks."

Kaminsky! Of COURSE! That's why I know that name. It's Mel Brooks family name!
And here I am doing a bit from a Mel Brooks movie for her.

"You know who him?" She asks.

"Well, not personally. But he has meant a lot to me in my life."

"He has?!" She looks appalled. "In what ways?"

"His writing, producing, acting, the people he puts in his films, directing..."

"I won't tell him that. His head is already too big."


PROLOGUE


"I knew them all." She says. Madeline Khan. AFI said she's the 26th or 27th best comedienne in the movies."

I loved Madeline Khan. I didn't ogle Farrah Fawcett's poster or Suzanne Sommers nighties - but Madeline Khan's singing and performing and those garters in Blazing Saddles...

"She was a great singer, too. I can't believe she died almost 15 years ago now."

"She died?" The words eked out.

"Yeah. Of cancer." I'm still bummed.

"I knew them all. I told him 'You're like two different people. Out there you're different. Here you're different."

Maybe that's symptomatic of his comedy. I know I've been accused of being two different people, too. ON and OFF.

The name of my blog

I am sorry.

I tried to be creative, or clever or original. Every name is taken. Except 'franksalernoistheshit'.

Even 'franksalernoisashit' was taken.

So was-

Every combination I could think of with GMO
Every combination I could think of with Gen X
William Powell

Gmail Blogger has instructed me to pick something timely and memorable. I couldn't do that.

But at least the blog has no where to go but up.

Thank you.

What Desert Fox say?